APOLOGIA

You awoke to shattered dreams;
neither wonder nor miracle
greeted you, merely a mewling mortal
mass, all your disenchantment and
despair condensed into this
miniature likeness of yourself. 

Your voice was your weapon, boring
through my being, searing my
forming flesh anew with every breath
I dared to steal. Into the invisible
I retreated, into the depths of
life's darkest shadows, my penance. 

Now this wound beats inside me like
a second heart, its reverberations
growing ever stronger, threatening to
unlock the gates of my silence,
to raze these walls my bloodless
fingers cemented with the
remnants of my spirit.

I would be whole again, scarless. This
half-light would crush me in its
coils. How it grips my throat in its vise, 
robbing me of half-drawn breaths!

Have I inherited your blood lust, your
taste for taking life drop by precious
drop? No, the Universe did not blight
me thus. Still, the air around me wilts.

Words sustain me, I imbibe them
ceaselessly. Yes, I am word drunk, but
lonely miles stretch between
phrases, empty worlds between
sentences. An abrading uncertainty
enshrouds me, follows the radial paths
of my pulsating pain.

My kind have cast off their ephemera.
I long to be free as they, free of this skin
I wear, of this sin of drawing earthly
breath you condemned me to.

Music in my heart and clouds in my
bones, floating on the colourless sea of
space, undaunted shall I
holler the word 'love' into Eternity,
cast its essence into the æther.

Far from this carnival of chaos, with the
fullness of my breath alone would
I pen a new narrative
upon a filmy, fulsome nothingness.

© 2015 Lily's Verse

Lilium Candidum

Image: THE SONAMBULIST
Source: www.pinterest.com
Artist: Maximilian Pirner